


Do You Wanna Talk

by OnceAndFloral



Series: I will take a hammer and *fix* the canon [3]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Communication, Implied/Referenced Non-con, Nightmares, dealing with do you wanna hang, michael is trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 17:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12089955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceAndFloral/pseuds/OnceAndFloral
Summary: I hate posting on my iPad bc then I need to go through and delete all the extra stuff. Anyways, here's a one shot while I work on the sequel for Thalassophile.Catch me on tumblr as squip-grandma





	Do You Wanna Talk

When Jeremy stayed the night at Michael's, or vice versa, there was rarely a time when he didn't wake up screaming.

Michael had a few nightmares himself. Old memories converted into mental movies of the time he'd walked up to Jeremy and Jeremy just stared right through him, like Michael didn't exist. He had learned that at the time, Michael _hadn't_ existed to Jeremy. Yes, Michael had nightmares that made him wake up in a cold sweat with confusion and sadness roiling under his skin, but none of them inspired the same terrified screaming that Jeremy woke up with.

Jeremy would often twitch or jolt in his sleep, usually waking Michael up before the inevitable shock of reality. Michael learned that touches were comforting for Jeremy after these nightmares, everywhere except his back. Michael had once tried to rub Jeremy's back to calm him down and he just made this sound of pure _agony_ , so Michael decided that touching that area was a no go.

Those nightmares, Jeremy revealed, we're about the shocks the squip used to supply. The boy had laughed nervously, saying it was stupid that he was reacting so harshly to those memories. Michael made sure that Jeremy knew that it was perfectly okay to be afraid as something as fucked up as that. 

There was another way Jeremy woke up from nightmares, limbs locked into place with eyes wide as a mantra of “make it stop” played on repeat on his lips. Any kind of physical contact only made it worse. The best Michael could do during those times was talk Jeremy down from the panic or play music to try and distract him. Jeremy refused to reveal what those nightmares were about.

These were routine for them. On nights were Jeremy couldn't fall asleep and Michael had a nightmare he'd mumble softly into Michael's ear until the dread and residual fear drained from his body, fingers intertwined. Jeremy seemed to figure out that looking at Michael- not eye contact as it made Jeremy uncomfortable -made him calm down faster. Michael felt stupid that _that_ him feel better, but it did. It let him know that Jeremy could see him.

And vice versa, Michael made sure he knew how to care for Jeremy after whatever ghastly vision he saw in his sleep. Eventually he'd have to know what Jeremy was dreaming about, but not right now

* * *

Jeremy hummed softly, eyelids drooping. He looked exhausted. Michael couldn't blame him, he'd always been tired after calming Jeremy down from nightmares and this had been a particularly bad one for Michael. 

“What're we doing tomorrow?”

Michael chuckled. “Shouldn't we be getting back to sleep?”

“Can't go back to sleep if I was never asleep in the first place. I just want know.”

“Well I was thinking about going to Spencer's Gifts.” Michael felt Jeremy's fingers tense around his. “Are you okay there?”

“Spencer's Gifts is in the mall.”

“Yes…?”

“Brooke and Chloe might be there.”

“I thought you apologized to Brooke?”

“I did. Big heartfelt thing, she said that it wasn't the first time something similar to that had happened to her which made me feel worse and now that I think of it maybe I should have gotten her something to try and-”

“Jeremy. You're rambling.”

He shut up, chewing on his lip. Jeremy mumbled something Michael couldn't understand.

“What?”

“I dunno I just want to avoid that , um, trip down memory lane.”

Ice flooded Michael's veins as he remembered Jeremy saying something when he had dragged him back to the bathroom on that Halloween night. “You're scared of Chloe.”

Jeremy flinched. “Wh-what? No I'm not, I just-”

“Dude, you told me about the squip forcing you to have sex with her. That isn't exactly a fun experience.”

“I…” Jeremy sounded like he was about to cry.

Michel sat up, pulling Jeremy up with him. He made a tired, whining sound. “C’mon Jer, you were complaining about falling asleep two seconds ago.”

“Yea, but now I want to escape the conversation.”

“Seriously, are you okay?”

“...What do you mean?”

Fuck. Michael had to be careful about what he said here. “I'm just trying to say that going through that kind of thing was probably, like, traumatizing.” Jeremy looked away. Michael sighed in frustration. “I’m sorry, I’m not doing this right, but seriously, you have to talk to someone about this.”

“It’s fine.” Jeremy said a bit too quickly. “I’m not… I’ll just try to forget about it.”

“Jeremy?”

“Huh?”

“What’s the other nightmare about?”

“Wh-What?”

“The one where I can’t touch you or you freak out.”

Jeremy was pale as a ghost. “They aren’t about anything.”

Michael resisted the urge to roll his eyes and wrapped his fingers around Jeremy’s wrist to anchor him and keep him from trying to run away. “I’m going to have to call bullshit on that one.”

“It’s fine, Michael! It doesn’t matter, anymore, it’s in the past, it happened, and I can’t change it! It’s not like I’ve-I’ve had problems going through my closet because I might find the jacket I wore! Or that sometimes I just feel her hands on my chest, or that the scent of alcohol makes me want to vomit! It’s not like sometimes I hear some voice telling me over and over in my head that it doesn’t understand my request.” Jeremy’s voice broke off at “doesn’t”, winding down into a tear-filled whisper.

He seemed to realize what he just said. Jeremy quickly turned away, breath coming out shaky and erratic. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“I… Bringing up all that shit?”

Michael felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness rise up in his chest. “You shouldn’t feel like you should have to apologize for that.” He bit down on his lip. “Jeremy, I don’t think I’m the person who would be best at helping you with this thing. Maybe you should. Maybe you should get some professional help.”

Jeremy’s head snapped over to look at Michael. He almost looked _afraid_. “No, no, no, no, I couldn’t do that. I don’t want to inconvenience Dad, not to mention how much that would cost, I mean he’s a single parent and he just got back to not working from home, Michael, I couldn’t-”

“Hey.” Michael said forcefully. Jeremy shut up, lips pursed. “I get all of that, but this isn’t something you can just ignore.” He sighed. “Look, maybe this conversation isn’t the best one for so late at night. But promise me you’ll talk about it in the morning?”

Jeremy was silent for so long Michael was almost afraid he wasn’t going to answer. “Okay.”

The tension in his shoulders dissipated. Michael and Jeremy laid back down, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling. “We don’t have to go to Spencer’s by the way.”

“Oh? Then what are we going to do?”

“I dunno, murder a guy for the twenty bucks he’s carrying?”

Jeremy laughed quietly. “Totally.”

“Good night Jeremy.”

“Night Michael.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hate posting on my iPad bc then I need to go through and delete all the extra stuff. Anyways, here's a one shot while I work on the sequel for Thalassophile.
> 
> Catch me on tumblr as squip-grandma


End file.
